Lourdes: A Pilgrimage, only not like you think!

Last month was my birthday, and in a very last minute turn of events, I found myself spending it in Lourdes, France, beginning my Level 2 Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training. Lourdes is an incredibly energetic place, steeped in pilgrimage, prayer and the healing waters that have drawn people there for generations. And somehow, being there I felt connected to the other places where the healing waters seemed to have called me in a similar way - Glastonbury and Bali. In some strange way, it felt like the final point in a trifecta of places that have each stirred something in me.

But what I didn’t expect was how deeply the teachings would land or how deeply I would feel connected to my ancestors in Lourdes. I am the Granddaughter of Polish Catholic Immigrants, all of my grandparents were Polish & I grew up with prayer, the church & Our Lady of Miracles woven throughout family life. There always seemed to be images of Mary dotted around my grandparents homes - the jewellery worn, souvenirs gifted to us & those little plastic bottles of Mary containing Holy Water. One image in particular always stood out - Matka Boska Częstochowska, Our Lady of Częstochowa, seemed to be gently present throughout my childhood.

The story of Matka Boska Częstochowska goes like this…In 1949, in Lublin, Poland, an Image of the Black Madonna of Częstochowa was reported to have shed tears. People gathered around the image, praying and weeping. The Church investigated what happened but never declared it a supernatural miracle, but for those who witnessed it, the experience was deeply moving & it too became a place of sacred pilgrimage.

I had actually been given a little picture of Matka Boska Częstochowska, brought back from Częstochowa in Poland, when I was just one month old. On the back, was written ‘Pamiątka’ Od Baba i Dziadzio’ - A keepsake/souveneir from Grandma & Grandad. I had carried this little piece of Poland & of Mary with me my whole life, without really realising the synchronicity between that familiar image from my childhood and the story of Bernadette Soubirous- the young girl who saw apparitions of Mary in La Grotte (the grotto) at Lourdes.

Part of life with polish Catholic grandparents, specifically Polish Grandmas was that before bed, they would pray with us in Polish, including of course the Hail Mary. So when I came across the Polish language version alongside many other translations of ‘Our Lady’s Prayer’ at La Grotte, something unexpected happened. I felt a rush of emotion, a lump rising in my throat as memories of doing so came flooding back. I quietly began to recite the words in Polish - my Polish far from fluent, but somehow I remembered them. And as I did, the tears unexpectedly began to flow. I can’t really explain what happened in that moment. I hadn’t consciously made the connection. I hadn’t gone there looking for it. And yet somehow, I felt it. There was a strange sense of recognition of connection. Almost of coming home to something that had been there all along at Lourdes & within me.

Often, I believe we try way too hard to understand these experiences, to find the reason, to make sense of the connection, or put it neatly into words. Lately I’m learning more & more that these moments aren’t ours to explain - they're simply there to notice, be felt, experienced & remembered. Those threads connecting parts of our lives that we didn’t realise were already woven together.

This is one of so many experiences I could share of my experience, I just short of filled a journal in a week - I kid you not! It’s hard to put into words. There were moments that challenged me, moments that made me contract, as well as moments & experiences that asked me to expand. It was, and continues to be, a deeply thought-provoking experience. I came home knowing I hadn’t simply completed a module, or started Level 2 Kundalini YTT, I’d experienced something that would take time to properly process and integrate. I know I’ll be discovering new layers from this experience for quite some time yet.

Lourdes & the Teacher Training revealed so much to me & I am so deeply grateful to those who were there with me - the teachers & fellow students. I truly believe that every student is someone teacher & every teacher is someone student.

At this stage of training, its all about bringing the teachings & the practice far deeper into your life, so when we choose to take our studies deeper, alongside the training, we are also asked to commit to a 90-day Sadhana.

Sadhana is a dedicated daily spiritual practice, something we return to regularly, with intention and discipline. It’s a conscious commitment to ourselves that helps us feel connected, create greater self mastery, inner balance & a deeper sense of spiritual awareness.

During the training, I was reminded just how much "The Mind & Meditation” sit right at the heart of this practice of Kundalini Yoga & how closely it is linked to Psychology.

Whilst (Kundalini)Yoga & psychology are two different languages, they explore some of the same territory: the mind, behaviour, patterns, perception, and our relationship with ourselves. Yoga isn’t psychology in the modern clinical sense, but its philosophical and contemplative traditions overlap with a lot of questions psychology and coaching now explore - & that’s why I love this practice so much! It’s Transformative - an initiation into the self.

Kundalini Yoga isn’t only about working with the body...We use movement, breath, mantra & meditation to begin to notice the patterns of the mind…the thoughts, reactions & habits that quietly shape how we experience ourselves & the world around us. The magic of Kundalini Yoga is that we access the patterns of the mind through the landscape of the body - because, the body can often show us what the mind is holding onto, long before we’re able to put it into words.

Meditation gives us a way to meet all of this with greater awareness. The aim isn’t to empty the mind or stop our thoughts, but to become less pulled around by them. Its to create space for neutrality, discernment and a more conscious response rather than an automatic reaction.

And perhaps that’s one of the most valuable things we can take from the practice: learning to notice what’s happening within us, creating a little more space between a thought and our response, and becoming more conscious of the patterns we’re living from.

It’s something I’m continuing to explore in my own practice & something I’m really looking forward to bringing more deeply into the classes at Bee in the Lotus. I’m currently at day 28 of my Sadhana, which continues to teach me more & more about myself daily.

If you’d like to know more about how Kundalini Yoga & Meditation can help you - join me in class, or drop me a DM.

Sat Nam

Emma